Road Trips, Travel

A Woman’s Survival Guide to Peeing Almost Anywhere

The Preamble:

976398_10151442089200741_1339674153_oTHIS, ladies, is my brilliant (if I do say so myself) discovery of how to navigate a road trip, specifically when nature calls and you find yourself—drivin’ down Highway 41, with no rest stop in sight. None. Anywhere. Damn it!

The Checklist:

  1. Flirty skirts (Go commando—sans underwear; essential; can’t stress this enough.)
  2. Flip-flops (There’s a good reason for this, it’s optional, but a really good reason!)
  3. Diaper wipes (They have a dual purpose.)
  4. Camera phones (Optional)

Curious? Read on…

Women are not as fortunate as men, who can pull off any road, turn their backs on traffic and simply whizz…take a leak…tap a kidney. You know what I’m talkin’ about—right?

Without specific intention, I left my home for a road trip dressed in a flirty skirt (commando-style) and wearing flip-flop sandals. What felt like the most comfortable and right thing to wear on my 1000-mile round-trip journey turned out to be an absolute godsend!

I found myself on Highway 41 (made famous in the ‘70s song ‘Ramblin’ Man’ by the Allman Brothers Band) in need of relief, pulled off the highway into a fairly desolate area and put my car in park. Took a look around—no one. Perfect! I walked over to the passenger side, opened the door for more privacy, copped a squat and let ‘er rip! And I’m thinking, “Thank God for my clothing and shoe choice, no underwear and the plentiful supply of diaper wipes on board!”

Back on the highway I start drafting my essay: ‘A Woman’s Survival Guide to Peeing Almost Anywhere,’ chuckling.

The Instructions:

335317_10150348400000741_1923824361_o
the ‘flirty’ skirt… Photo by Rachel Bellinksy

The flirty skirt only works if you’re going commando, for obvious reasons. It’s exactly what it sounds like. Short, a little above the knee, with a free-flowing vibe. Think twirling! This combination allows you to discreetly squat with adequate coverage for all related body parts. Grab a fresh diaper wipe or two and you’re good to go!

Let’s talk flip-flops. Look, unless you’ve purchased the cumbersome device that allows a woman to stand up a pee like man, with pants on (yes, it exists! It’s called GOGIRL), we are bound to splash with our lack of male trajectory. Personally, I would rather not ruin a good pair of shoes! This is where the diaper wipes come in handy for a second time. Splish, splash. Wipe, wipe.

Here’s your bonus, ladies! If you’re feeling a little self-conscious about my method, you think the people in cars passing by know what you’re doing (and they do), then pull out your camera phone, assume the position and pretend you’re snapping a picture, or take one if there’s something of interest. A note of caution: keep your camera phone away from the Splash Zone!

The Epilogue:

I set out on my first-ever solo road trip at the young age of 57 —my golden birthday year. Destination: Yosemite. One of the most liberating things I’ve ever done for myself. Combine that with my discovery and method for surviving the lack of restrooms along the way…divine intervention!

Discover more about my sojourn to Yosemite, “Road Trip: In the Company of Me,” right here at ‘a musing TRAVELLER.’

2 thoughts on “A Woman’s Survival Guide to Peeing Almost Anywhere”

  1. Tina-Marie Mullen says:

    Ahhh now I know the origin of the traveling flirty skirt!

  2. Pingback: Two Words

Leave a Reply